


What We Know

by Jesi_Ki_Kage



Series: Our Knowledge [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Coulson doesn't die, F/F, Happy Ending, Iron Man movies is background plot, Lesbian Maria Hill, Light Angst, Maria Hill Feels, Natasha Romanov Feels, Protective Natasha Romanov, Slow Build, Soulmates, Torture, for now, reflective and introspective, the only thing written for part three is the snap, this is about their time at shield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22206754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jesi_Ki_Kage/pseuds/Jesi_Ki_Kage
Summary: They would be okay. And that was all that mattered.~*~*~Nothing really changes at first. Because they're both stubborn. And hopeless. And never actually address the elephant in the room. This is solved when their friends find out and threaten to lock them in a room together. It still takes a while for them to get to that point though. Both will claim it was worth it. Although maybe not the kidnapped and tortured part.
Relationships: Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov
Series: Our Knowledge [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598542
Comments: 14
Kudos: 231





	What We Know

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this written for a week and a half since I finished it over the holidays. Just needed to fix the tensing issues. Which I think I did. So enjoy.
> 
> Found on tumblr @standinshadowedsilence

**Part Two: What We Know**

* * *

**Snapshot One: Start**

Nothing really changes at first. Maria is still the Deputy Director. She still has to attend an insane amount of meetings. She’s still responsible for the lives and well being of everyone on the helicarrier when Fury is gone.

But then she begins to notice little changes.

She glances at an agent in the hallway and where before she just knew his name, now there's a little bit more. His family's names. Or her favorite flavor birthday cake. Or their favorite sports team.

Little details that help in conversation to smooth feathers and gain support.

There were other things too.

Like stumbling out of her office at 2am and realizing the main Caf is still between meals but knowing that if she hurries to the aft Caf she can grab some chicken noodle soup that will taste amazing. Or knowing before the radio on her desk crackles to life that a team just got back from a FUBAR mission. Or knowing the next time she's in the gym to check behind one of the ceiling tiles for a spare hair tie when hers snaps.

Little things that show Natasha is still there.

Still cares.

They haven't really interacted much in the two months since Natasha's release. There's been a few mission debriefs but for the most part Natasha has been either away on test missions or actively training with Strike Team Delta to get used to the team up. The only reason they've been in contact with each other is because Maria was assisting Phil in assessing them on their test missions.

Otherwise normally there'd be no reason for them to interact.

Maria is Level 9, Deputy Director.

For all Natasha is Level 6, pending Level 7, she's a field agent, and Maria works with her Handler or the CO for the Strike Team Handlers. She doesn't work with any agents directly unless it's by chance in the gym or dining hall or they're part of her support staff in the command center.

Yet somehow despite only interacting a few times in those two months Natasha has managed to make physical skin on skin contact with Maria every time.

It would be infuriating if not for the calming feeling that settles over Maria for the duration of the contact and even a bit after.

It's proof of the bond strengthening that Maria intrinsically knows those touches are not for her but Natasha. To ground her, remind her this is real, that she's not going to wake up one day to the Red Room's programming still controlling her actions. Every contact between them is proof that she is alive and free - because if she wasn't Maria would be dead or Natasha would have died trying to kill her.

~*~*~

The first training mission Natasha didn't think much of the random facts popping into her head throughout. It was a boring mission. Just a test of how she and Barton worked together. She'd been to the city before several years ago. It didn't surprise her that she would remember some things.

It wasn't until the day they were leaving that she realized many of the facts she kept thinking of had been new information.

Apparently she's been more distracted on this training mission than she thought. Which wasn't good considering that could get her killed.

When it happened again the next training mission she knew it was intentional.

So Maria planned to keep up their little habit even now that they'd met.

Natasha was fine with that.

Especially considering that the older woman rarely went into the field these days.

Instead Natasha made it her mission to learn random obscure facts about the place Maria called home: the helicarrier. Whether that was the people or the routines or where the best hiding spots for spare equipment was - Natasha started to learn them all.

And without having to ask, or check depending, she would know what Maria had found useful and what she hadn't.

It was an addicting feedback loop.

The bond was so much stronger now than ever before and Natasha wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. Still, her uncertainty didn't stop her from seeking out contact with Maria whenever she had an excuse.

She knew from Maria's knowledge that soon they would only be able to see each other through intentionally seeking the other out.

Natasha wasn't sure what she'd do when that happened.

She was becoming addicted to that little burst of warmth she got from skin contact with Maria.

It was nice. Grounding in a way that nothing else was.

Packing for her first official assignment Natasha wondered if she'd be able to manage without that contact or if the flashpoints would overwhelm her.

If she was surprised to see Maria standing at the ramp to the quinjet before they left she didn’t show it. And if she held Maria’s hand a little longer than necessary, soaked in that warmth a little bit longer than normal, well, that was between her and Maria.

* * *

**Snapshot Two: Apart**

It became a pattern, Maria always seeking Natasha and Strike Team Delta out before they depart. Bumping into them in the hallway or greeting them at the landing bay or on occasion being the one to give them their orders. And for the days where Maria wasn’t able to get away from her work Natasha just _knew_ and tracked her down before they left.

The return of Strike Team Delta had the same pattern, although the coincidences were different. Debriefs happened immediately when able, and Maria had a higher chance of handling those. Higher, but still fairly uncommon. 

No, usually post missions she either tracked Natasha down in the gym, on the observation deck, or in her room and orders her to either Medical or her bathroom so that Marian could tend to any injuries Natasha was electing to ignore. Although it did take them a little while to get to that point.

It took several missions of Maria _knowing_ Natasha was injured based on the knowledge that came to mind, knowledge holding a level of depth neither thought possible before they met.

Maria would know of an injury based on Natasha’s knowledge that she had 3.5 hours before the blood loss started to affect her. Or she’d know due to the fact that Natasha knew her clothes were ruined. Or because Natasha would be making a mental list of medical supplies she’d need and the knowledge of “need to buy more butterfly bandages” would drift into Maria’s brain at the most random of times.

Maria did her best to not let it seem like she favored Strike Team Delta, and Natasha helped in that most of their pre and post meeting check ins could be passed off as casual bumping into each other in the hallway or the passing of information about missions.

Still, the rumor mill had started speculating that the two of them were at least on friendly terms.

Neither of them were in a rush to make it anything more than that.

Maria wanted to give Natasha time to settle in as a free woman, a woman with choices. Natasha wanted to feel worthy of Maria, of being more than an assassin whose hands were stained in red.

Then Budapest happened.

~*~*~

Two years have past since Natasha took Clint up on his offer to join Shield instead of dying. Just over a year since she'd been cleared for active duty and met Maria for the first time. In that time Natasha had never once regretted her decision.

Until now.

She ducked around a corner just as a shot rang out behind her causing her to curse in several languages. The mission had gone south fast. While not their first mission to go bad, it was their first to well and truly go FUBAR. Clint was on the other side of the city trying to complete his objective and Natasha could tell from the radio chatter that he was under fire as well.

Calling in her position and status she began to sort through her options.

Double back and try to take out the guard and complete the objective. Return to the Shield egress point and hope it wasn't compromised by their turn coat of a contact. Go to ground for now and get the objective later. Or some combination of those.

When a pair of gunmen turned the corner in front of her she knew she didn't really have much choice.

She would complete the objective.

She was the Black Widow; failure wasn't an option.

She just hoped Maria would know enough.

~*~*~

It’s two days since Maria _knew_ something happened on the mission. Two days since her research skills were tested as she suddenly knew that Natasha was using the cave networks under Budapest. Two days since she knew the objective was complete the same way she knew Natasha couldn't use her left arm and had gone to ground.

She just didn't know where, exactly.

No matter how strong her bond with Natasha had become over the last year plus, exact details about her soulmate never came through.

So when Phil called reporting that Agent Barton had just made it back to one of the lesser known Shield safe houses, one they weren't supposed to be using for this mission, she knew she had to say something.

Phil told her the two had gone to ground. Told her how neither had reported to the egress point, which had been a good thing after they determined it was compromised 14 hours in when the place was raided by local authorities. Phil told her Agent Romanoff hadn't reported in, that they couldn't find her, and that they could only stay in Budapest for another handful of hours.

Maria pinched the bridge of her nose and thought carefully.

She didn't know an address.

But surely she knew other details. She'd always known other details during Natasha's other missions. When she answered Phil her eyes were closed.

“Look for somewhere with a view of the water. Three story building near an entrance to the caverns. Call me back when you find her.” 

She hung up.

Because she knew, she _knew,_ that if she stayed on the line she was liable to tell him to hurry the fuck up before Natasha bled out from a shoulder wound. A shoulder wound Maria had no reasonable way of knowing about without revealing they were soulmates.

~*~*~

When Natasha heard footsteps on the stairs outside her hiding place she tensed, carefully clutching her pistol to her side.

It'd been a long few days but she completed the objective, got the intel and killed the mark. A lucky shot to the collarbone (okay it was definitely more than luck on her enemy's part) meant that she barely made it out. Only sheer will and her lifetime of training kept her from passing out before making it to relative safety.

As it was it'd been over a day since she'd left her chosen location which meant she had already run out of food and was left drinking water from the faucet.

The footsteps paused and Natasha held her breath.

"Clowns need more breath mints."

She exhaled a sigh of relief Natasha before calling back the counter phrase. A moment later Clint was slipping into the room. He took one look at her and uttered "shit". She rolled her eyes.

Maria had come through. 

~*~*~

It was a few days later that Phil showed up to Maria's office with lunch. Maria thought nothing of it; they've been regularly eating lunch together at least once a week since Maria made Level 7. Clearing off a section of her desk she settled into her food and the conversation flows easily between them.

They had been friends for years after all. Both of them knew the other rather well.

As they cleaned up the trash the conversation turned to the latest mission Phil led and how it had gone wrong. They discussed the intel, the unknown elements, what they could do to avoid situations like that in the future. The chance of a larger compromise.

Maria didn't think anything of it when she mentioned off hand that he should make sure there was always an emergency location only he, Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton knew about.

Except apparently that was the opening Phil was waiting for.

"Maria. How did you know where to look?"

She blinked at him. The lie was ready on the tip of her tongue - and it wasn’t really a lie because she really was one of the few people in Shield with in depth knowledge of the Black Widow - when he leveled his glare at her.

"Maria."

And okay maybe she had a few tells that someone who'd known her as long as Phil and Nick have would pick up on.

"You didn't know where she was but you knew exactly what landmarks to look for that would lead us straight there. That's not chance and that's not pattern Maria."

She opened and closed her mouth but no words came out. Maybe she should have pulled Natasha aside at some point in the last year and discussed how she wanted to handle people finding out they were soulmates. Because there was no doubt when Phil spoke next that he hadn’t figured it out.

“So that’s why you always make sure to see us off on missions and personally greet us upon return. And here I thought it was cuz you liked me.”

Maria just stared at him slacked jawed before saying the first thing that came to mind.

“Did you know Budapest was originally three separate cities merged together?”

Natasha never let her live it down once she learned what happened.

* * *

**Snapshot Three: Trace**

"Is that the same travel magazine you were looking at earlier?"

Natasha lowered the edge of the magazine to glare at Clint as he entered the motel room. She'd heard him coming, of course, and he'd tapped out the pattern as he came so she'd known it was him. Which meant she hadn't bothered to move from her position sprawled on the motel bed. She was bored, and this travel magazine barely mentioned Madripoor. She'd have to see if she could find a better one. Or a bloody internet connection.

Maria had already been in Madripoor for a week and Natasha was running out of random facts to learn.

Maria had already sent her plenty about Jakarta, the city Clint and Natasha were working out of to track down another mole.

That mission in Budapest seemed to have found something. For the last year Maria had been leading a shake down of operations to root out any other turn coats or spies in both their intelligence network and their own people. Strike Team Delta was often called in to help with the, ah, information retrieval.

But it meant that Natasha was often away on mission.

And now it meant Maria was deployed to the office in Madripoor where they believed the main cell for the organization was based out of.

Throwing the magazine to the side Natasha went to ask a question when her phone rang. Trading a glance with Clint she picked up the burner flip phone she had for the mission and checked the number. Unknown. Another glance and a shrug had her opening the phone.

"Goose needs new cat toys. I need both of you in Madripoor yesterday."

"Sir?" Natasha couldn't help the blink in surprise. Putting the phone on speaker she mouthed 'Fury' to Clint.

"Our entire operation in Madripoor just got overrun. Hill's been taken. I need you two to get her back." 

Clint balked. "Sir, how are we supposed to even know where to start?"

"You'll _know_." Fury answered before ending the call.

And if Natasha hadn't been scrambling to think about everything she currently knew from Maria she might have panicked at the extra weight Fury put on the word _know._ As it was, however, all of her self-control was focused on not panicking.

She hadn't learned anything from Maria in the entire time Clint had been gone. Which was a several hour span. That wasn't unusual. Knowledge learned from the bond usually only came to one's attention either as a stray thought or only when relevant. Just because Natasha hadn't noticed a stray thought containing knowledge from Maria didn't mean it hadn't happened. 

Now that she was focusing on everything she knew about Madripoor, Natasha was learning she knew a lot more about what happened than she did before Fury's call.

~*~*~

Maria woke with a groan and instantly regretted it. If the pounding in her temple and the ache in her jaw were anything to go by she'd been knocked out. Given that she had a dislocated shoulder and was suspended from the ceiling by chains to her wrists… she knew her last memory had been real.

An attack. Smoke. Shooting the first idiot to come into her office. Running out of ammo. Getting her head slammed into the wall behind her by the force of the punch to the face.

Knowing there wasn’t anything she could do at the moment, she tried to relax and conserve as much energy as she could.

The next thing she was aware of was a fist to the gut jerking her body backwards and the air out of her lungs. The chains rattled above her as the cuffs dug into her wrists and her feet dragged on the ground. After a moment of swaying back and forth her body stilled.

Cracking her eyes open slightly she saw the boots of three figures. One of them a significantly better make than the others.

“Cut the shit Director, we know you’re awake.”

Maria internally rolled her eyes before blinking them open. She would have rolled them for real but considering the pounding in her head that probably would have done more harm than good. Sparing a glance around she took in what she could despite the difficulty focusing her eyes.

Two grunts - a man and a woman - plus the owner of the nice shoes and likely the man who had spoken. None of the faces stood out in her memory so she committed them for later recall. It was always helpful when the other side didn’t bother with masks.

Idiots.

As if she wouldn’t be rescued.

She was the bloody Deputy Director of Shield. She was soulmate of the-

Another fist to the stomach had Maria wheezing and okay maybe she should have at least tried to focus on the words being spoken to her over the ringing in her ears. Keeping her eyes open Maria rested the weight of her head on her good shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” She spoke between pants. “I couldn’t hear you over the ringing in my ears. Could you repeat that?”

Nice Shoes - and okay he had a nice suit on too, no, focus Maria - growled and flicked his fingers at the female. It was only then Maria registered the bat the woman was holding. The woman glanced at Nice Shoes who shrugged. Moments later the bat collided with Maria’s elbow and she couldn’t fight the scream as bone broke.

“Well, now that we have your attention, let’s try this again.”

~*~*~

This wasn’t the first time Natasha had tuned Clint out when he got started on one of his rambles, but at least this time she had the great excuse of hauling Maria’s barely conscious form as they slunk through back alleys to the pickup point. They’d found Maria thanks to liberal use of Natasha’s knowledge from the bond. She knew it was a risk. She knew they should have cased the place further instead of rushing the surveillance time. She knew they needed more information.

She just hadn’t cared when she also knew Maria had thr- four broken bones as well.

So once she had the location she’d called it in, got Clint to cover her six without waiting for their backup and… went in. She was the Black Widow, it was fine. Between the two of them they were able to clear half the building before learning their backup would be delayed thanks to their opponent having anticipated a rescue attempt.

They just hadn’t anticipated Natasha being on the rescue team.

Or Natasha knowing everything Maria knew, everything she learned every time the asshole torturing her started to monologue. Being so close meant the bond had been extremely strong, relevant knowledge transferring instantly. Including when Maria decided to start egging the man on because she knew Natasha was in the building.

Natasha would never get the sound of Maria’s scream out of her head after they’d busted the door in only to see a bat smash into Maria’s knee cap.

Shifting her grip on Maria, Natasha focused outwards again. Apparently just in time too.

“-and I still don’t know how you picked that guy out of the crowd to tail him. Like seriously, it was like you took one look at him and just _knew_ -”

Clint stopped talking, stopped walking. Turning half around to look back at them his eyes flicked back and forth between Natasha’s dusty and bloody expression and where Maria was resting her head against Natasha’s shoulder as Natasha supported nearly all of her weight. Natasha knew he’d figured them out, but she had bigger concerns right now than one more person knowing of her bond with Maria.

Bigger concerns like making sure her soulmate survived to be worried about.

“Tell a soul and what I do to you will be nothing compared to what she does.”

Clint blinks, gaze zeroing in on hers, assessing. After a moment he nodded before turning back around and starting to walk again.

“Explains why Fury was so confident we’d find her.”

Natasha scowled at his back but didn’t deny it. It was true after all. Glancing at Maria's head resting against her Natasha didn't try to stop the small smile that poked the corner of her lips up.

“She found me first."

* * *

**Snapshot Four: Meddle**

It was while Maria was still in medical that the pair were cornered by their ‘friends’. Fury had grounded Strike Team Delta until Maria was released. Natasha wanted to protest, but she was honestly so fucking thankful.

She should have realized that in and of itself was telling.

Now that Maria was awake from the healing coma they’d placed her in prior to evac Natasha was spending more and more time in her hospital room. Which was an interesting role reversal to say the least. Although, Natasha rarely stayed in medical when injured meaning Maria was usually tracking her down in her room.

However, frequenting Maria’s hospital room meant it was fairly easy for Coulson and Clint to corner her during one of the time periods where Maria was more awake than not.

“You know…” Clint started, crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame as Coulson took the second visitor chair, “if you didn’t want people to figure it out you’d be spending significantly less time in here then you are.”

Natasha blinked and glanced at Maria. She shrugged as best she could. Natasha shrugged back. The sound of Clint’s forehead impacting against his palm echoed throughout the room.

“You two haven’t even discussed it yet?”

“To be fair,” Maria rasped, and Natasha was immediately by her side with water, “we never really had a need to.”

“Maria.” Coulson sighed, conveying what he thought about that excuse with a single word. And yup - it was nice to see he could do that with everyone and not just her and Clint. This time it was Maria exchanging a glance with her.

“You two are hopeless. No Natasha,” Clint continued before she’d even finished drawing breath to argue, “even I’m not this hopeless. Get your shit together. Actually talk about what you have and what you want."

With that he turned and left the room.

Coulson stayed seated, silent. When it was clear neither Maria or Natasha were eager to start talking he stood with a sigh.

"You're both off missions until further notice. Don't bother Maria, Fury agrees. While it's a convenient resource, right now it's volatile because you two haven't figured out your limits. Why do you think Delta has been grounded since we got back? No one is certain how distracted Natasha will be in the field right now."

With that he too departed. And well, Natasha couldn't argue his point. _She_ didn't even know how focused she'd be on a mission right now. She'd like to think she'd be fine thanks to knowing Maria was safe in Shield's medbay, but this was the first time since they'd met that Maria had been seriously injured.

Glancing at Maria she found the other woman was already watching her, her head tilted slightly in contemplation.

~*~*~

"You know, you’ve saved my life twice now." Maria started, and she could tell by the way Natasha blinked slightly, leaned forward just a bit more, that she had the other woman's attention.

"That day in the desert. When we were in the same place at the same time but on different sides of a war. My convoy had gotten blown up and I was barely conscious when I made it into the closest village. The local insurgents saw both an American soldier and a female. Injured as I was I didn't stand a chance."

She paused, thinking back. Maria still considered it a miracle that their paths had crossed in such a manner without them knowing. Without Natasha's triggers being set off.

"The official report listed the bodies as all being killed with a clean shot through the throat. A signature kill. All with a Russian made slug left behind. When the American's were able to retake the village they found me still alive among the bodies. We could only guess I'd been left alone because the other locals assumed I was dead too."

Maria shifted slightly to look Natasha straight in the eyes.

"You saved my life that day."

And she could tell from the way Natasha swallowed but otherwise didn't react that the knowledge had never transferred to her. Not in that level of detail at any rate. Maria could guess why. It had never been relevant after all.

Tentatively Maria shifted her unbroken arm out towards Natasha. The other woman immediately moved closer, pushing the arm back down into the bed as though to keep Maria from straining herself. Feeling the start of the warmth that came from their bond Maria found she didn’t care if she reopened all of her wounds so long as Natasha didn’t let go.

“I want this.” It was work but she managed to lace their fingers together. The darkness was creeping in the edges of her vision but she knew she had time to say this.

“I want to try Nat. Try for something. With you.”

“Are you- are you sure? Even knowing I’m-”

“You’re not a monster Nat. You know just as I do what was done to you wasn’t your fault, what you had to do to survive wasn’t your fault. You made it out alive, made it to me, and I want to take advantage of every moment we have while we can.”

And okay maybe Maria hadn’t meant to bare her heart quite so much. She gave Natasha’s hand a slight squeeze, figuring if asked she’d just blame the drugs still running through her veins. The warmth seeping into her from where her skin touched Natasha’s was lulling with its comfort. She found her eyes slipping closed against her will.

“Okay.” Natasha’s voice was a whisper, but Maria blinked her eyes open when she heard it. Natasha was staring right at her and this time it was Natasha who squeezed her hand.

“Rest now Красивая. We can talk more when you wake.”

Maria hummed with happiness as she allowed her eyes to close once more. The last thing she was aware of was soft lips pressing against her forehead, the briefest spark of warmth following before the black took her.

* * *

**Snapshot Five: Face**

Things got really good after that. Sure, it took some adjusting, discussions of boundaries and triggers and learning to read each other in person and not just from the knowledge in their heads. But they made it work, made it grow, and somewhere along the way stopped caring if anyone realized that Natasha had basically moved into the Deputy Director's quarters on the helicarrier.

Things were great.

And when the next assassination attempt came around on both Nick and Maria's lives they both knew how to handle it. Just like they knew how to handle kidnapping attempts on Natasha’s life from those wishing to control her. They knew how well they could handle the other being hurt before it became a distraction.

Then Iron Man happened.

Then Natasha was being sent on a several months if not years undercover operation and they'd had to adjust once more.

With some honest communication, coordination, and assistance from Pepper Potts of all people, they made it work as a long distance relationship.

The assignment ended and no one was more relieved than they were. Well, maybe Nick, Phil, and Clint were too as the three had to deal the most with any and all relationship drama. Still, everyone was looking forward to the couple settling back in at the helicarrier.

Then New Mexico happened.

Captain America was found.

And Jolly Green Giant took on a whole new meaning.

It was a Very Rough Week for everyone. Coulson nearly died, and was in fact on his deathbed for much longer than Maria was comfortable with. Flat-lining twice was not reassuring in the least. He was retired from field work for good but he was at least alive to do the job of Shield’s third in command.

But they made it through. Slowly things settled into a sort of normal when one of you was known internationally as a superhero along with half of your sort of friends. At least they got a spare place to live at Stark Tower once Stark learned about their relationship during a visit to the helicarrier.

For a little while they had their happy ending. They were the perfect couple.

Then two years after New York a ghost from the past came back. Maria received a phone call from Nick in the middle of the night. Those phone calls were never a good thing. And indeed, when she heard what he wanted she was so so thankful Natasha was out of their apartment trying to track down the Winter Soldier because otherwise Maria didn’t think she’d be able to keep this from her.

“Sir-”

“I know. She understands subtlety and need-to-know. Just- do your best.”

“Yes sir.”

If Maria went to work the next day knowing that nothing would ever be the same, well, that knowledge was between her and Natasha.

~*~*~

Natasha stared at the glass window reeling. She couldn't believe it. She wanted to reach out and grab Maria's hand, grab it and hold on tight. She wanted to feel that warmth spread up her arm until it reached her heart, have it remind her she was still alive even though it felt like everything was falling apart around her.

She didn't.

She knew not to.

Something about this was screwing Maria up in a very different way than it was her.

But for once Natasha didn't know what.

Or maybe she didn't want to know what.

Maria turned and left. Natasha let her.

Later, after going to ground, after running, after fighting, bullets pierced skin and identities were revealed. She and Capt and Wilson were arrested and Natasha knew she was bleeding pretty badly. She knew there was a chance of shock setting in very soon if she didn't get help.

But she knew help was nearby.

She knew it in the pin prick sensation of awareness from her left.

Then Maria was pulling off her helmet and Natasha let herself relax, just for the moment. Maria was there. Maria would make sure she got help, got treatment.

And she was right.

But Maria also said "she'll want to see him first" and instantly that knowledge she hadn't wanted to know, hadn't gone looking for, was there.

Fury.

That asshole.

She knew immediately he was alive even before Maria opened the door. She knew Maria was drained and exhausted and worried the same way she knew that Maria wasn't looking at her because she felt guilty for hiding this.

Natasha brushed her hand against the back of Maria's.

Reassurance even if not forgiveness. Not yet.

That would come later. When Maria was curled up against Natasha's uninjured side as they both truly slept for the first time since this mess started several days ago.

They would be okay.

_~fin part two~_

**Author's Note:**

> There will be a part three. Maybe. Right now part three consists of just the Snap. So... Yeah.
> 
> Come yell at me on tumblr @standinshadowedsilence


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